








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1601 | 38% |
| Smokes | 156 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 1522 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 885 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,621 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arcan | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Ritsu Tainaka | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | schizo | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | LoboMiope | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | lostᗜˬᗜ | 51% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breno hikikomori ❤ | 19 | 0.0409 |
| #2 | noescoper rodrygues | 18 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | lostᗜˬᗜ | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Azuggerꑭ | 15 | 0.0138 |
| #5 | schizo | 12 | 0.0237 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noescoper rodrygues | 257 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ikuyo Kita | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | breno hikikomori ❤ | 110 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | lostᗜˬᗜ | 104 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | R0CK3T CAMEL0 | 81 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lostᗜˬᗜ | +3.57 | 50 | 36 |
| #2 | Ritsu Tainaka | +2.85 | 57 | 52 |
| #3 | Azuggerꑭ | +2.81 | 44 | 40 |
| #4 | toast | +2.64 | 44 | 41 |
| #5 | schizo | +1.57 | 50 | 31 |





