








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2213 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2915 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2373 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2201 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,324,276 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 915 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | OPIUM* | 63% | 67 |
| #7 | ⱽ⁴ˢᴱ | 63% | 150 |
| #8 | pumkn | 59% | 103 |
| #9 | 무장 강도 | 59% | 107 |
| #10 | 바랜별 | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 무장 강도 | 694 | 0.36 | 14 min |
| #2 | ⱽ⁴ˢᴱ | 478 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | pumkn | 362 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | 바랜별 | 356 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ur Ass Mine | 330 | 0.26 | 8 min |





