








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2211 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3030 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2193 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2124 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,481 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jMM | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | High Dope. | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | oweur | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | Sploz | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | Hugimo-kun | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | High Dope. | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | oweur | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Shadow | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow | 203 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Shadow | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sploz | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | jMM | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Iska | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sploz | +2.68 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | Willow | +2.40 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Iska | +1.19 | 68 | 37 |
| #4 | jMM | +0.84 | 47 | 64 |
| #5 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | +0.16 | 61 | 54 |





