








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1207 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1327 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2635 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 622 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,191,248 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | soso37c | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | oweur | 48% | 177 |
| #7 | Shadow | 47% | 58 |
| #8 | Willow | 43% | 28 |
| #9 | ㊚ Bardouf ㊚ | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | 279 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | High Dope. | 169 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Willow | 141 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | oweur | 109 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Shadow | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow | +4.12 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | ᴄᴜᴍ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ Yaqzho | +1.57 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | ultrA | +1.44 | 49 | 52 |
| #4 | soso37c | +1.07 | 59 | 41 |
| #5 | ㊚ Bardouf ㊚ | +0.25 | 26 | 60 |





