








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4401 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4260 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2735 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3220 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,597 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerbaut | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Thanatos | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | machtnix. | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Der Dude | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | flipse ツ | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | megalopolik | 47% | 59 |
| #10 | Pete.R | 47% | 30 |
| #11 | Zailito | 44% | 39 |
| #12 | Robert I. | 43% | 21 |
| #13 | Nata | 32% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marec | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | megalopolik | 8 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Erosive | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Nata | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Pete.R | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marec | 493 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | megalopolik | 216 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Zailito | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Erosive | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nata | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | +5.42 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Jerbaut | +5.39 | 64 | 87 |
| #3 | megalopolik | +4.04 | 92 | 67 |
| #4 | marec | +2.08 | 84 | 70 |
| #5 | flipse ツ | +1.94 | 76 | 73 |





