










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1576 | 38% |
| Smokes | 930 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 947 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,581 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💯 | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | blop | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | 2004 Ford Focus Sedan | 49% | 73 |
| #4 | strike | 49% | 115 |
| #5 | jebochlebo | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | strike | 49% | 115 |
| #5 | jebochlebo | 46% | 54 |
| #6 | jebomego | 39% | 36 |
| #7 | homofobico | 37% | 82 |
| #8 | 私はあなたのお母さんを犯した | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | 19 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | blop | 16 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | jebochlebo | 11 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | 2004 Ford Focus Sedan | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | 💯 | 3 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | 515 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | homofobico | 291 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | 2004 Ford Focus Sedan | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | jebochlebo | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | blop | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | +6.53 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | 💯 | +4.68 | 93 | 77 |
| #3 | jebochlebo | +3.36 | 90 | 61 |
| #4 | homofobico | +2.29 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | blop | +1.91 | 76 | 48 |





