










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 824 | 28% |
| Smokes | 708 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 579 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 781 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $278,515 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jebomego | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | blop | 52% | 84 |
| #3 | 💯 | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | WeLoveSlime | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | strike | 45% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | strike | 45% | 119 |
| #6 | jebochlebo | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | homofobico | 37% | 41 |
| #8 | 私はあなたのお母さんを犯した | 9% | 11 |
| #9 | terocom | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | 22 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | blop | 13 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | WeLoveSlime | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | jebochlebo | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | homofobico | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | 609 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | WeLoveSlime | 298 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | homofobico | 137 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | blop | 103 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | jebochlebo | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | +6.80 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | 💯 | +6.20 | 89 | 75 |
| #3 | homofobico | +4.95 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | jebochlebo | +4.59 | 87 | 63 |
| #5 | blop | +1.77 | 71 | 43 |





