








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 782 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5863 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6705 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5486 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4861 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,478,648 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tast0rd乡 | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | blop | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | homofobico | 50% | 233 |
| #4 | WeLoveSlime | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | strike | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | blop | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | homofobico | 50% | 233 |
| #4 | WeLoveSlime | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | strike | 42% | 38 |
| #6 | jebomego | 38% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeLoveSlime | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | homofobico | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | strike | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | jebomego | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | tast0rd乡 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homofobico | 955 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | jebomego | 232 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | strike | 211 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | WeLoveSlime | 166 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | tast0rd乡 | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | +4.33 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | jebochlebo | +2.28 | 91 | 63 |
| #3 | homofobico | +0.06 | 76 | 57 |
| #4 | blop | -0.92 | 81 | 46 |
| #5 | tast0rd乡 | -0.93 | 47 | 56 |





