








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4578 | 52% |
| Smokes | 2151 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 440 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 1642 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $854,403 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blop | 55% | 94 |
| #2 | WeLoveSlime | 49% | 115 |
| #3 | 2004 Ford Focus Sedan | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | homofobico | 43% | 75 |
| #5 | jebochlebo | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 2004 Ford Focus Sedan | 45% | 119 |
| #4 | homofobico | 43% | 75 |
| #5 | jebochlebo | 42% | 38 |
| #6 | jebomego | 41% | 27 |
| #7 | 私はあなたのお母さんを犯した | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeLoveSlime | 16 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | blop | 16 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | 2004 Ford Focus Sedan | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | jebochlebo | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | homofobico | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeLoveSlime | 427 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | homofobico | 268 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | 2004 Ford Focus Sedan | 188 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | blop | 121 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | jebochlebo | 110 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strike | +4.92 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | jebochlebo | +2.90 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | blop | +1.50 | 71 | 46 |
| #4 | homofobico | +1.41 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | jebomego | -1.29 | 58 | 43 |





