








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 595 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5111 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5669 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6788 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6889 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,134,433 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avsul | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Otis Mallebrok | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | LuBons | 51% | 82 |
| #4 | ham1k nbs | 51% | 470 |
| #5 | Itchy | 51% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ham1k nbs | 51% | 470 |
| #5 | Itchy | 51% | 91 |
| #6 | Heman | 49% | 598 |
| #7 | Loenne | 47% | 73 |
| #8 | Joel cs No1 fan | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loenne | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Avsul | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ham1k nbs | 2072 | 0.20 | 60 min |
| #2 | Heman | 1393 | 0.11 | 39 min |
| #3 | Loenne | 327 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Itchy | 187 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Joel cs No1 fan | 169 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joel cs No1 fan | +1.89 | 66 | 57 |
| #2 | ham1k nbs | +0.92 | 54 | 77 |
| #3 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | +0.55 | 62 | 61 |
| #4 | LuBons | -0.21 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Loenne | -0.43 | 45 | 73 |





