








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 665 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5001 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8156 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8378 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7036 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,991,076 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loenne | 53% | 117 |
| #2 | Otis Mallebrok | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | 49% | 598 |
| #4 | ham1k nbs | 49% | 544 |
| #5 | Avsul | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ham1k nbs | 49% | 544 |
| #5 | Avsul | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | Itchy | 47% | 93 |
| #7 | LuBons | 45% | 100 |
| #8 | Joel cs No1 fan | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | ham1k nbs | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Loenne | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Avsul | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ham1k nbs | 2360 | 0.20 | 69 min |
| #2 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | 1681 | 0.13 | 48 min |
| #3 | Loenne | 546 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #4 | Itchy | 197 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Joel cs No1 fan | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joel cs No1 fan | +1.38 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | ham1k nbs | +0.94 | 54 | 77 |
| #3 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | +0.47 | 62 | 61 |
| #4 | Loenne | -0.28 | 48 | 75 |
| #5 | LuBons | -0.37 | 60 | 60 |





