








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 535 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8337 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6878 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6777 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7251 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,648,767 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Otis Mallebrok | 53% | 38 |
| #6 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | 51% | 470 |
| #7 | Heman | 49% | 544 |
| #8 | Joel cs No1 fan | 48% | 52 |
| #9 | Itchy | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heman | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #2 | Loenne | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | 1270 | 0.12 | 37 min |
| #2 | Heman | 1245 | 0.10 | 35 min |
| #3 | Loenne | 425 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | Joel cs No1 fan | 163 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Itchy | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | equen | +1.68 | 52 | 70 |
| #2 | Joel cs No1 fan | +1.56 | 66 | 63 |
| #3 | ham1k nbs | +0.91 | 54 | 76 |
| #4 | IReallyLoveMeganFox | +0.19 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Loenne | +0.07 | 52 | 76 |





