








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6607 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6026 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3539 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6372 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,358,654 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lance | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | MBastos97 | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Nurse | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Alexander Alexanderov | 56% | 54 |
| #5 | Turtle | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DirtMcGirt | 51% | 47 |
| #9 | ry^_^ | 51% | 49 |
| #10 | Mr Rickards | 50% | 36 |
| #11 | MeatMeat1x | 44% | 43 |
| #12 | Biggie | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ry^_^ | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Turtle | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Biggie | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Alexander Alexanderov | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | MBastos97 | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexander Alexanderov | 236 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Biggie | 214 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Midget Jesus | 169 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | DirtMcGirt | 147 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ry^_^ | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBastos97 | +1.92 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | Alexander Alexanderov | +1.74 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | Nurse | +1.38 | 38 | 61 |
| #4 | Lance | +1.21 | 50 | 68 |
| #5 | jizzy | +0.99 | 63 | 56 |





