








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 825 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 196 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




207 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9275 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3163 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 6747 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3797 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,484,308 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5954 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





