








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3039 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1843 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1797 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 990 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,067 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bassänghäng | 61 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | ayyy =DD | 21 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Decuuz | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Frederik | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | uxiE | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frederik | 1095 | 0.33 | 29 min |
| #2 | ayyy =DD | 635 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | bassänghäng | 542 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Decuuz | 418 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | uxiE | 357 | 0.11 | 9 min |





