








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 228 | 18% |
| Smokes | 139 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 331 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,197 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matruusi-_- | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | uxiE | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | ayyy =DD | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Decuuz | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | Frederik | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bassänghäng | 18 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Decuuz | 11 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | ayyy =DD | 10 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | Frederik | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Matruusi-_- | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frederik | 259 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | ayyy =DD | 189 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | bassänghäng | 139 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Decuuz | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Matruusi-_- | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decuuz | +3.25 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | uxiE | +3.22 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | ayyy =DD | +2.83 | 62 | 63 |
| #4 | Frederik | +2.35 | 46 | 69 |
| #5 | bassänghäng | +0.47 | 59 | 58 |





