








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5400 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3074 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3730 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3040 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,248 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keittocaptain | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | uxiE | 52% | 143 |
| #3 | Matruusi-_- | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | Decuuz | 50% | 147 |
| #5 | ayyy =DD | 48% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bassänghäng | 75 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | ayyy =DD | 25 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Decuuz | 22 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Matruusi-_- | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | keittocaptain | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bassänghäng | 673 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | ayyy =DD | 580 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | Matruusi-_- | 508 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Decuuz | 400 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | uxiE | 324 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uxiE | +1.59 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Frederik | +1.07 | 49 | 64 |
| #3 | ayyy =DD | +0.83 | 63 | 58 |
| #4 | Decuuz | +0.43 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | bassänghäng | -1.56 | 61 | 55 |





