








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1096 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2052 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1568 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1579 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,394 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sunr!se | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | MEATator | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | IsZo# :> | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | ✪ Kago | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Bot Neon | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Freemann | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | Saeschh_ | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | iR0x 🖤 #OTHERSCANTBEAT | 38% | 53 |
| #12 | QkeyZz | 36% | 14 |
| #13 | .vv3in | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iR0x 🖤 #OTHERSCANTBEAT | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | IsZo# :> | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ✪ Kago | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | MEAT | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | MEATator | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iR0x 🖤 #OTHERSCANTBEAT | 255 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | MEAT | 199 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | So3! ♫ | 76 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | IsZo# :> | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Saeschh_ | 67 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEATator | +3.12 | 72 | 80 |
| #2 | MEAT | +2.40 | 77 | 78 |
| #3 | Saeschh_ | +1.89 | 55 | 69 |
| #4 | QkeyZz | +1.78 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | .vv3in | +1.31 | 74 | 66 |





