








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3988 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2684 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3711 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3358 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,495,529 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NeverRain | 51% | 95 |
| #8 | Swantus ☠ | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | Der Lieferjunge | 49% | 55 |
| #10 | blakanar | Pfandgott | 45% | 31 |
| #11 | inspector HaZe | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¡LupoCS™ 💎NEW ⇆TRADE ACC | +2.12 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | 1'cup | +1.12 | 77 | 55 |
| #3 | Swantus ☠ | +0.87 | 72 | 51 |
| #4 | fleet | +0.47 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | optiR | +0.05 | 62 | 58 |





