








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 519 | 21% |
| Smokes | 806 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 565 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 577 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,820 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Targa | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | flashleo | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | LFE - Washi | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | gros Chat | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | LFE-Shadow | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Targa | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | flashleo | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | LFE - Washi | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | gros Chat | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | LFE-Shadow | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LFE - Washi | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | gros Chat | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | flashleo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | LFE-Shadow | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashleo | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | gros Chat | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | LFE-Shadow | 48 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | LFE - Washi | 27 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Targa | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gros Chat | +2.21 | 55 | 56 |
| #2 | LFE - Washi | +1.86 | 74 | 35 |
| #3 | flashleo | -0.08 | 52 | 55 |
| #4 | Targa | -0.29 | 81 | 35 |
| #5 | ZywOo | -0.48 | 39 | 54 |





