








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1279 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3592 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2698 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,191,554 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Targa | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | [S@W].Hadesligne | 60% | 53 |
| #4 | Ouann | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | Bloody The Comedian | 57% | 270 |
| #6 | ZywOo | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloody The Comedian | 178 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ouann | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | ZywOo | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | [S@W].Hadesligne | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Targa | 29 | 0.04 | 0 min |





