








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 843 | 27% |
| Smokes | 667 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 803 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 812 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,576 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nosakaツ 30hz | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | Ruvaloツ | 82% | 17 |
| #3 | Jimmy | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | gugga03 | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Lundin | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ✪ SiPe2K™ | 50% | 8 |
| #13 | T1 | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | vypp | 46% | 26 |
| #15 | SkrtNeglHann | 44% | 9 |
| #16 | BirGie T7/11 | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruvaloツ | 119 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nosakaツ 30hz | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | mOgens | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | gugga03 | 88 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | vypp | 84 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOgens | +6.89 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Nosakaツ 30hz | +3.79 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | green | +3.25 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | Jimmy | +2.55 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Ruvaloツ | +2.09 | 83 | 73 |





