








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 528 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2903 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6049 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5560 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5443 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,994,592 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viljak | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Jokusemmoneh | 53% | 290 |
| #3 | Jakeee | 52% | 100 |
| #4 | Joshuva | 52% | 135 |
| #5 | Sipunak | 51% | 374 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrMaxiCola | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Jokusemmoneh | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Sipunak | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Joshuva | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | wiltuz | 2 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokusemmoneh | 1390 | 0.22 | 41 min |
| #2 | wiltuz | 1311 | 0.15 | 44 min |
| #3 | Sipunak | 925 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #4 | Tietynlainen pelaaja | 733 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #5 | Joshuva | 501 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiltuz | +3.38 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | Viljak | +2.25 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Jokusemmoneh | +1.79 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | Tietynlainen pelaaja | +0.62 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Jakeee | +0.30 | 66 | 69 |





