








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 295 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3741 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3310 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3137 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2777 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,275 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joshuva | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Jakeee | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | Jokusemmoneh | 52% | 143 |
| #4 | vvville | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | MrMaxiCola | 51% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrMaxiCola | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | wiltuz | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Sipunak | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiltuz | 1016 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #2 | Jokusemmoneh | 682 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | Sipunak | 649 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | Arttu | 283 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | MrMaxiCola | 233 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiltuz | +2.80 | 79 | 76 |
| #2 | Jokusemmoneh | +1.99 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | Jakeee | +0.77 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | Tietynlainen pelaaja | +0.13 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | MrMaxiCola | +0.10 | 82 | 63 |





