








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 874 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3323 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2106 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1182 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2227 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,216 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breno hikikomori ❤ | 34 | 0.0408 |
| #2 | toast | 26 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | schizo | 18 | 0.0237 |
| #4 | lostᗜˬᗜ | 16 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Azuggerꑭ | 12 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nome muito frequente | 214 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #2 | toast | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | breno hikikomori ❤ | 194 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ikuyo Kita | 175 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Noscoper YuyuKi | 134 | 0.16 | 3 min |





