








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 565 | 21% |
| Smokes | 544 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 744 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 781 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,108 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crisp | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Nogger | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | vilgot | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | mille | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | o1nk | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nogger | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | vilgot | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | mille | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | o1nk | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Lasersnake | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mille | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | crisp | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | vilgot | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Nogger | 3 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilgot | 209 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | mille | 200 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | crisp | 117 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nogger | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | o1nk | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilgot | +1.28 | 62 | 72 |
| #2 | crisp | +1.21 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | spicy neighbor | +0.72 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | mille | -0.17 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | o1nk | -0.89 | 41 | 43 |





