








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,814 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1719 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1487 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1447 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1392 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,642 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nogger | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | spicy neighbor | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | vilgot | 50% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nogger | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | spicy neighbor | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | vilgot | 50% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilgot | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | spicy neighbor | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Nogger | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilgot | 490 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | spicy neighbor | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nogger | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spicy neighbor | +0.85 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | crisp | +0.75 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | vilgot | -0.19 | 51 | 68 |
| #4 | Nogger | -1.31 | 17 | 37 |





