








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 280 | 23% |
| Smokes | 235 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 265 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 422 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,183 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crisp | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | o1nk | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | vilgot | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | spicy neighbor | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | mille | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | o1nk | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | vilgot | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | spicy neighbor | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | mille | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | Lasersnake | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o1nk | 14 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | mille | 5 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | spicy neighbor | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | vilgot | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | crisp | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o1nk | 137 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | vilgot | 111 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | mille | 76 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | crisp | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | spicy neighbor | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crisp | +4.30 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | o1nk | +3.80 | 67 | 50 |
| #3 | vilgot | +3.57 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | spicy neighbor | +2.43 | 76 | 49 |
| #5 | mille | +0.19 | 76 | 57 |





