








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1166 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1321 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,305 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anaca | 67% | 82 |
| #2 | Strangeraeons | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | JΛDΞRSXD | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | coolmsw ゆ | 59% | 88 |
| #5 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Temp0h | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | DJ | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | Spiv | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Delta | 50% | 16 |
| #10 | BÖRD67 | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anaca | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | JΛDΞRSXD | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | BÖRD67 | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | coolmsw ゆ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anaca | 487 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | JΛDΞRSXD | 115 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | coolmsw ゆ | 111 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Delta | 76 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anaca | +3.14 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | ok | +1.80 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Spiv | +1.32 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | DJ | +0.80 | 87 | 46 |
| #5 | coolmsw ゆ | +0.21 | 72 | 46 |





