








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2863 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3387 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2396 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2632 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,299,077 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kai-b | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | ok | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | ✪ Wanted | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | JΛDΞRSXD | 54% | 151 |
| #5 | ozzy | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Eskham | 45% | 84 |
| #11 | Temp0h | 45% | 118 |
| #12 | Owen4k | 41% | 29 |
| #13 | Av3ry | 38% | 24 |
| #14 | ostemannen | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JΛDΞRSXD | 20 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Temp0h | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | p1ksel | 10 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | Av3ry | 8 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | Eskham | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JΛDΞRSXD | 493 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Anaca | 310 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | Temp0h | 217 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | kai-b | 118 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Eskham | 105 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1ksel | +4.16 | 80 | 51 |
| #2 | Anaca | +2.47 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | JΛDΞRSXD | +1.85 | 62 | 63 |
| #4 | Temp0h | +1.75 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | ok | +1.43 | 67 | 53 |





