








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4068 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2758 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4162 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3991 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,231 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DJ | 54% | 304 |
| #8 | Loading^ | 53% | 49 |
| #9 | Sir Picklewiggle von Snortlebum | 53% | 66 |
| #10 | VimtoVince™ | 50% | 48 |
| #11 | Drpapperskorg *AA | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ | 735 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Anaca | 399 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #3 | VimtoVince™ | 250 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | Loading^ | 225 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | ok | 213 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PINGWIN | +4.67 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | Anaca | +2.76 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | DJ | +2.71 | 90 | 56 |
| #4 | laser | +1.49 | 80 | 42 |
| #5 | ok | +1.21 | 74 | 62 |





