








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3340 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2594 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2205 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2702 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,846 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Digi | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Daemonic | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | ok | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | kai-b | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | FemboyNova | 60% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zoju | 56% | 16 |
| #9 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 54% | 151 |
| #10 | Odahh | 54% | 41 |
| #11 | Av3ry | 53% | 32 |
| #12 | p1ksel | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | p1ksel | 10 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | FemboyNova | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Av3ry | 8 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | kai-b | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anaca | 345 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hector Salamanca's Kitten | 232 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | kai-b | 211 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Odahh | 110 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | FemboyNova | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1ksel | +4.24 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | Anaca | +2.81 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | Av3ry | +2.20 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | Zoju | +1.93 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | JΛDΞRSXD | +1.67 | 62 | 64 |





