








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




191 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4261 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3624 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4713 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2765 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,509,626 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 739 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samme :3 | 63% | 56 |
| #2 | sleep deprivation | 62% | 132 |
| #3 | lichy 𐂯 | 60% | 254 |
| #4 | Kaczer | 59% | 145 |
| #5 | lobotomy | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sleep deprivation | 62% | 132 |
| #3 | lichy 𐂯 | 60% | 254 |
| #4 | Kaczer | 59% | 145 |
| #5 | lobotomy | 56% | 34 |
| #6 | Игорь большой пен | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lichy 𐂯 | 53 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | sleep deprivation | 42 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | Samme :3 | 27 | 0.0254 |
| #4 | Игорь большой пен | 14 | 0.0202 |
| #5 | Kaczer | 13 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lichy 𐂯 | 837 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | sleep deprivation | 712 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #3 | Kaczer | 353 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Samme :3 | 111 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | lobotomy | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleep deprivation | +4.87 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | lichy 𐂯 | +3.37 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | Kaczer | +2.26 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | lobotomy | +2.20 | 82 | 46 |
| #5 | Samme :3 | +0.42 | 60 | 27 |





