








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




150 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15463 | 35% |
| Smokes | 8249 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 11820 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8696 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,505,253 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fool | 60% | 63 |
| #2 | ♿ dLj ♿ | 60% | 254 |
| #3 | Tsukishima | 59% | 104 |
| #4 | sleep deprivation | 58% | 312 |
| #5 | powerpoint world champion | 56% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Samme :3 | 52% | 141 |
| #9 | ♿ mindloud | 51% | 94 |
| #10 | charley kirkstein | 47% | 150 |
| #11 | Игорь большой пен | 45% | 67 |
| #12 | rape me from 1-10 | 42% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ dLj ♿ | 96 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | sleep deprivation | 68 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Samme :3 | 51 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | rape me from 1-10 | 43 | 0.0238 |
| #5 | lobotomy | 36 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleep deprivation | 1467 | 0.25 | 34 min |
| #2 | ♿ dLj ♿ | 675 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | rape me from 1-10 | 420 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kaczer | 392 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | lobotomy | 387 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleep deprivation | +4.08 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | lichy 𐂯 | +3.53 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | powerpoint world champion | +1.70 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | fool | +1.28 | 60 | 38 |
| #5 | Kaczer | +1.00 | 69 | 52 |





