








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2232 | 44% |
| Smokes | 458 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1826 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,614 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moza61 | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | ♿ dLj ♿ | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Kaczer | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | sleep deprivation | 53% | 70 |
| #5 | lichy 𐂯 | 53% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kaczer | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | sleep deprivation | 53% | 70 |
| #5 | lichy 𐂯 | 53% | 196 |
| #6 | Munchy | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | Игорь большой пен | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Игорь большой пен | 18 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | lichy 𐂯 | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | sleep deprivation | 13 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Munchy | 13 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | moza61 | 9 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lichy 𐂯 | 904 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | sleep deprivation | 344 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kaczer | 140 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♿ dLj ♿ | 121 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Игорь большой пен | 101 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lichy 𐂯 | +3.84 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | sleep deprivation | +3.84 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | lobotomy | +1.34 | 86 | 48 |
| #4 | Kaczer | +0.71 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | ♿ dLj ♿ | -3.21 | 52 | 43 |





