








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 531 | 43% |
| Smokes | 345 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 193 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 166 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,540 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattiey | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | vorty with the calm aim | 65% | 43 |
| #3 | Mr. 6 | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Fronk | 61% | 77 |
| #5 | deathclaw pussy | 60% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | deathclaw pussy | 60% | 57 |
| #6 | VortexDrinker | 58% | 48 |
| #7 | weeturd | 56% | 41 |
| #8 | Young Thug YSL | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | God Emperor Meteora | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deathclaw pussy | 11 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | VortexDrinker | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | weeturd | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Mattiey | 5 | 0.0365 |
| #5 | Fronk | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fronk | 238 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | weeturd | 217 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | deathclaw pussy | 168 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | VortexDrinker | 89 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr. 6 | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fronk | +4.36 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | vorty with the calm aim | +3.39 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Mattiey | +3.35 | 74 | 43 |
| #4 | Young Thug YSL | +2.08 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Mr. 6 | +1.97 | 70 | 36 |





