








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1731 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1651 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1587 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,793 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | 56% | 206 |
| #2 | derpderpymanboy | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 53% | 215 |
| #4 | think real '-' | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | HOTDOGBUNS | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | 56% | 206 |
| #2 | derpderpymanboy | 55% | 99 |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 53% | 215 |
| #4 | think real '-' | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | HOTDOGBUNS | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 65 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Damien | 42 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | derpderpymanboy | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | think real '-' | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | HOTDOGBUNS | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | 701 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 364 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | think real '-' | 262 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | derpderpymanboy | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | HOTDOGBUNS | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | +4.56 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | ColdAardvark | +0.54 | 56 | 51 |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | -0.15 | 55 | 28 |
| #4 | think real '-' | -1.01 | 49 | 15 |
| #5 | HOTDOGBUNS | -3.86 | 52 | 49 |





