








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5082 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3073 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3190 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2937 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,725 of utility $9 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derpderpymanboy | 64% | 90 |
| #2 | ALBsniper | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 58% | 251 |
| #4 | think real '-' | 57% | 122 |
| #5 | ColdAardvark | 56% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derpderpymanboy | 64% | 90 |
| #2 | ALBsniper | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 58% | 251 |
| #4 | think real '-' | 57% | 122 |
| #5 | ColdAardvark | 56% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 60 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | think real '-' | 23 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | ColdAardvark | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | derpderpymanboy | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | ALBsniper | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | think real '-' | 463 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | ColdAardvark | 426 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | 408 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | derpderpymanboy | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ALBsniper | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | +3.73 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | ColdAardvark | +0.29 | 54 | 50 |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | -0.07 | 56 | 30 |
| #4 | think real '-' | -0.67 | 51 | 21 |
| #5 | ALBsniper | -2.01 | 26 | 36 |





