








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 26% |
| Smokes | 361 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2080 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 447 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,145,533 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derpderpymanboy | 61% | 103 |
| #2 | Damien | 58% | 251 |
| #3 | think real '-' | 53% | 101 |
| #4 | ColdAardvark | 53% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | derpderpymanboy | 61% | 103 |
| #2 | Damien | 58% | 251 |
| #3 | think real '-' | 53% | 101 |
| #4 | ColdAardvark | 53% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | 47 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | ColdAardvark | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | derpderpymanboy | 15 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | think real '-' | 14 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | 891 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | ColdAardvark | 445 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | think real '-' | 369 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | derpderpymanboy | 89 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | +4.11 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | ColdAardvark | +0.59 | 54 | 51 |
| #3 | bigboyfatmanfatboy | +0.09 | 56 | 29 |
| #4 | think real '-' | -1.37 | 51 | 19 |
| #5 | derpderpymanboy | -4.49 | 20 | 21 |





