








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5024 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3414 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3204 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2291 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,937 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojj | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | DxN | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | Maddzii | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | pinklemonade | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 53% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DxN | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | Maddzii | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | pinklemonade | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 53% | 139 |
| #6 | Xenomorph Queen | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Maddzii | 9 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | DxN | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Xenomorph Queen | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | pinklemonade | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 206 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Maddzii | 174 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | DxN | 127 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jojj | 73 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xenomorph Queen | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maddzii | +4.46 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | DxN | +2.95 | 85 | 47 |
| #3 | Jojj | +2.18 | 72 | 72 |
| #4 | awpenheimer | +1.35 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | +1.30 | 72 | 59 |





