








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 851 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7589 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5852 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4787 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4076 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,209,794 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1092 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruthless | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Kurt C. Hose | 51% | 249 |
| #3 | Nexo | 49% | 364 |
| #4 | dnl | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nexo | 49% | 364 |
| #4 | dnl | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 48% | 58 |
| #6 | .#nyxer#. | 48% | 241 |
| #7 | chris² | 45% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexo | 55 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | .#nyxer#. | 39 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Kurt C. Hose | 37 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Ruthless | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | chris² | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexo | 1559 | 0.20 | 43 min |
| #2 | Kurt C. Hose | 686 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | .#nyxer#. | 486 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | chris² | 390 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 124 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruthless | +1.38 | 48 | 54 |
| #2 | Nexo | +1.07 | 58 | 70 |
| #3 | .#nyxer#. | +0.76 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | Kurt C. Hose | +0.51 | 57 | 65 |
| #5 | JANSON | +0.08 | 71 | 68 |





