








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2059 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1521 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1238 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,810 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnl | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | chris² | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | Nexo | 48% | 192 |
| #4 | JANSON | 48% | 241 |
| #5 | Kurt C. Hose | 46% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nexo | 48% | 192 |
| #4 | JANSON | 48% | 241 |
| #5 | Kurt C. Hose | 46% | 164 |
| #6 | Ruthless | 39% | 28 |
| #7 | #TRUMP2028 | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexo | 29 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | JANSON | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Kurt C. Hose | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Ruthless | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | dnl | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JANSON | 763 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Nexo | 763 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | Kurt C. Hose | 453 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | chris² | 215 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 117 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruthless | +1.76 | 50 | 57 |
| #2 | dnl | +1.49 | 54 | 69 |
| #3 | Nexo | +0.63 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | .#nyxer#. | +0.57 | 88 | 51 |
| #5 | JANSON | +0.20 | 73 | 68 |





