








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7543 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5897 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4898 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2958 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,381,407 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurt C. Hose | 49% | 193 |
| #2 | JANSON | 49% | 364 |
| #3 | .#nyxer#. | 48% | 192 |
| #4 | chris² | 48% | 152 |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurt C. Hose | 49% | 193 |
| #2 | JANSON | 49% | 364 |
| #3 | .#nyxer#. | 48% | 192 |
| #4 | chris² | 48% | 152 |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .#nyxer#. | 36 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | JANSON | 34 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Kurt C. Hose | 29 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | chris² | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JANSON | 1197 | 0.15 | 32 min |
| #2 | Kurt C. Hose | 555 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | .#nyxer#. | 361 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | chris² | 312 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | #TRUMP2028 | 97 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexo | +1.36 | 59 | 69 |
| #2 | .#nyxer#. | +0.35 | 88 | 50 |
| #3 | Kurt C. Hose | +0.01 | 56 | 65 |
| #4 | chris² | -0.16 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | JANSON | -0.22 | 71 | 68 |





