








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2008 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2476 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4190 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3026 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,202,004 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨duc bahn mi | 50% | 177 |
| #2 | 76561198398930440 | 50% | 268 |
| #3 | big titty mother has big titty m | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | trying my best | 46% | 328 |
| #5 | honk shoo | 45% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 76561198398930440 | 50% | 268 |
| #3 | big titty mother has big titty m | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | trying my best | 46% | 328 |
| #5 | honk shoo | 45% | 305 |
| #6 | Bacon | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trying my best | 20 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | honk shoo | 16 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ✨duc bahn mi | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | big titty mother has big titty m | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | 76561198398930440 | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198398930440 | 1216 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | honk shoo | 799 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | trying my best | 788 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #4 | ✨duc bahn mi | 360 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Bacon | 227 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trying my best | +1.61 | 56 | 68 |
| #2 | 76561198398930440 | +1.57 | 62 | 76 |
| #3 | ✨duc bahn mi | +0.12 | 60 | 62 |
| #4 | big titty mother has big titty m | -0.61 | 85 | 52 |
| #5 | Jack.Ash | -0.68 | 54 | 57 |





