








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5700 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6429 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4637 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4136 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,613 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big titty mother has big titty m | 62% | 77 |
| #2 | Nash prime | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | ✨duc bahn mi | 57% | 265 |
| #4 | trying my best | 52% | 391 |
| #5 | honk shoo | 52% | 376 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✨duc bahn mi | 57% | 265 |
| #4 | trying my best | 52% | 391 |
| #5 | honk shoo | 52% | 376 |
| #6 | Jack.Ash | 50% | 268 |
| #7 | Bacon | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trying my best | 30 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Jack.Ash | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ✨duc bahn mi | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | honk shoo | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | big titty mother has big titty m | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk shoo | 976 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | trying my best | 862 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #3 | ✨duc bahn mi | 556 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jack.Ash | 424 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Bacon | 179 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trying my best | +1.74 | 56 | 68 |
| #2 | 76561198398930440 | +1.37 | 59 | 76 |
| #3 | Nash prime | +1.22 | 66 | 74 |
| #4 | ✨duc bahn mi | +0.17 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | big titty mother has big titty m | -0.59 | 82 | 55 |





