








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 836 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5962 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8134 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8624 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7265 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,252,206 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 798 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nash prime | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | ✨duc bahn mi | 54% | 409 |
| #3 | big titty mother has big titty m | 53% | 196 |
| #4 | 76561198398930440 | 52% | 391 |
| #5 | honk shoo | 50% | 613 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | big titty mother has big titty m | 53% | 196 |
| #4 | 76561198398930440 | 52% | 391 |
| #5 | honk shoo | 50% | 613 |
| #6 | Bacon | 47% | 68 |
| #7 | Jack.Ash | 46% | 328 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk shoo | 29 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Jack.Ash | 27 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | big titty mother has big titty m | 25 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | ✨duc bahn mi | 21 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | 76561198398930440 | 10 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | honk shoo | 1721 | 0.13 | 40 min |
| #2 | 76561198398930440 | 1691 | 0.21 | 43 min |
| #3 | ✨duc bahn mi | 844 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #4 | big titty mother has big titty m | 527 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | Jack.Ash | 503 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trying my best | +1.54 | 56 | 67 |
| #2 | Nash prime | +1.42 | 65 | 70 |
| #3 | 76561198398930440 | +1.30 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | ✨duc bahn mi | +0.34 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | big titty mother has big titty m | -0.35 | 81 | 54 |





