








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3973 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4210 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3264 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3654 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,468 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198398930440 | 57% | 265 |
| #2 | trying my best | 54% | 409 |
| #3 | honk shoo | 51% | 412 |
| #4 | big titty mother has big titty m | 51% | 102 |
| #5 | Jack.Ash | 50% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | trying my best | 54% | 409 |
| #3 | honk shoo | 51% | 412 |
| #4 | big titty mother has big titty m | 51% | 102 |
| #5 | Jack.Ash | 50% | 177 |
| #6 | Nash prime | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trying my best | 39 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | honk shoo | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Jack.Ash | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | 76561198398930440 | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | big titty mother has big titty m | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198398930440 | 1207 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #2 | honk shoo | 1128 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | trying my best | 1022 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #4 | Jack.Ash | 266 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | big titty mother has big titty m | 254 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trying my best | +1.59 | 56 | 68 |
| #2 | 76561198398930440 | +1.47 | 58 | 76 |
| #3 | Nash prime | +0.88 | 65 | 69 |
| #4 | ✨duc bahn mi | +0.75 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | big titty mother has big titty m | -0.44 | 79 | 58 |





