








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 820 | 34% |
| Smokes | 688 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $137,939 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akaza | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Kasknoar | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | ImXeydro | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | CVjunior | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | MatthSy ∰ | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Marco Pyright | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | Max | 50% | 30 |
| #11 | aDrix | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | Fukkon^ | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | Triwind | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 8 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | kassoulet blesser | 6 | 0.0253 |
| #3 | Marco Pyright | 3 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | CVjunior | 3 | 0.0169 |
| #5 | Fukkon^ | 3 | 0.0199 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 169 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | C-L-3-M | 115 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | aDrix | 62 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | kassoulet blesser | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ImXeydro | 30 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triwind | +2.50 | 33 | 41 |
| #2 | Max | +2.46 | 80 | 50 |
| #3 | CVjunior | +1.96 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | akaza | +1.51 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | aDrix | +1.39 | 66 | 49 |





