








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1120 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1163 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2070 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,174,135 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 811 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Supertax2 | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | -5326364312 | 59% | 93 |
| #6 | u mad | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | duby | 55% | 40 |
| #8 | ADVICEONESSSHOT | 53% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Envoy | 205 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #2 | -5326364312 | 162 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | logiks | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | ADVICEONESSSHOT | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | u mad | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |





