








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 921 | 27% |
| Smokes | 997 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 644 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 896 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,915 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WsupB?tch | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | raini | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Envoy | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | u mad | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | Ananasino | 53% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WsupB?tch | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | raini | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Envoy | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | u mad | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | Ananasino | 53% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u mad | 16 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | raini | 5 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Envoy | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Ananasino | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | WsupB?tch | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u mad | 253 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Envoy | 164 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ananasino | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | WsupB?tch | 40 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | raini | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ananasino | +3.58 | 90 | 46 |
| #2 | raini | +1.26 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | u mad | +0.59 | 90 | 55 |
| #4 | Supertax2 | +0.17 | 78 | 45 |
| #5 | WsupB?tch | -0.58 | 90 | 51 |





